Thursday, August 30, 2007

In A Funk

I’ve been a bit “off” here for a couple of weeks. Have you ever felt like there’s something wrong, but nothing you can pinpoint? Like it wouldn’t take much for you to start crying? You’ve got plenty you should be doing, but just can’t give yourself that little push to get started?

Well then, you might be suffering from depression. But I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me.

Ah, still got a sense of humor. There may be hope for me yet.

Actually, I am a bit disgusted with this whole “life” situation. You know, my body has been falling apart for years. The eyesight is going, my knees and neck sound like Rice Krispies, arthritis occasionally flairs up in a thumb, I’ve got carpal tunnel, a couple of bad discs, high blood pressure, I tend to be hot, my memory stinks, and I’ll spare my male readers the details of my monthly ordeals. You’re welcome.

So I go in for my annual exam a couple of weeks ago. I’ve got a few things I bring up to the doc—my BP meds are making me cough, I’m really fed up with my monthly ordeals, and a couple of other minor complaints. She orders tests.

I go the next day for my mammogram, sonogram of a lump the doc found, and a pelvic sonogram. They always give me the results of my mammogram before I leave, and they said that it and the ultrasound were normal. Yeah, well, I still get the pleasure of consulting with a surgeon.

I had to wait for them to send the result of the pelvic ultrasound to my doc. Ladies, if you haven’t had a pelvic ultrasound lately, evidently current SOP calls for two views, the usual one directly on the abdomen, and another one from inside that is supposed to give them a better view of the ovaries. Except after all that, she still had to go back for an abdominal view of my right ovary because it was so high up. Turns out I have an ovarian cyst and a thickened endometrium, so I also get to see a gyn.

As if all that isn’t bad enough, the doc also checked my hormone levels. They’re normal. NORMAL. I am NOT peri-menopausal.

All these years I’ve been telling myself, “Just a little bit longer.” And I haven’t even started!!! This SO sucks.

It’s all my mother’s fault, you know. And stupid me asked when she finally started going through menopause. I think she lied.

And poor KSA doesn’t have a clue how much worse things are going to get.

However, there is good news. I went for recertification last week and I am now qualified to shock the shit out of you.

Flo

5 comments:

Ambulance Driver said...

Beware the pissed-off woman with a portable defibrillator. ;)

Hope you get to feeling better soon, Flo.!

Anonymous said...

I know honey and all I can say is hit me with your best shot. I'll be your outlet. Damn body doesn't want to cooperate! It's the sh*ts.

*Hugs*

Kate said...

Heh. Not to make light of it, but you sound like me. And, the think about that *internal* sonogram that's horrible is that they don't want you to pee beforehand...so they just damn well best get out of the way as soon as they're done, and be prepared for a good view of one's backside.

However, if I could ever escape to your neck o' the woods, I bet I could help you with that carpel tunnel - it was one of my 'specialties' when I was doing massage therapy.

phlegmfatale said...

well, if you have the ability to shock the shit out of people legally, well, that's worth its weight in therapy.

I know what you mean about the blahs. It's been a weird year. I'm ready for some cooler fall weather to kick in and get my juices going again.

HollyB said...

I am SUCH a bad friend. I will call you in the morning, since you're prob. asleep already. I've been wrapped up in my own misery and not even askin' about yours. So sorry.